This is Wrong, but it feels so right
by sirius-seriousxoxo
Summary: Teddy Lupin Cna't get Lily out of his mind, but he also feels guilty for breaking up with Victoire after a 7 year relationship. Hope you like it


_**This is Wrong, but It Feels Right**_

She's the liveliest and most energetic person I've ever met.

When she smiles the room becomes that much brighter and I can't take my eyes off of her. Which is exactly the problem in my life right now. This lively, spirited and beautiful girl I speak of is non other than Lily Luna Potter, a girl who I have known since the day she was born. The girl that is eleven years younger than myself. She dances around the room visiting with friends and talking with family celebrating her 17th birthday. I can't stop watching her, as she skips around the room visiting with the people she loves most. Then I see her turn her head and our eyes meet. She starts to make her way towards me with a huge grin on her face. My face breaks into a huge grin; I pick her up and spin her around, never wanting to set her back on the ground.

"Happy Birthday Lily Luna!"

"Thanks Teddy! I'm so happy you made it here, I didn't think you were coming tonight."

"Lily Luna Potter! I have been here for every single one of your birthdays since the day you were born. Do you really think I would miss you coming of age?"

She giggles and wraps her arms around me. All the blood rushes to my face and my heart begins to beat quickly. _Stop it. _ I tell myself, _I shouldn't be feeling like this. This is Lily! Lily, the girl who is basically your little sister. The girl, you have watched grow up. I babysat her when she was younger for Christ sake. _

"Thanks… Teddybear." She smiles impishly at me.

" Ha, wow Lils, you haven't called me that in years." I laughed, remembering the times when Lily was really little and we would spend the whole day together whenever I came to visit. Lily and I talked for what felt like two seconds before she was called away to see friends from Hogwarts. She skipped away, giggling with her friends.

Lorcan and Lysander Scamander walked over to her, she smiled up at them and gave each a one a hug. I could feel my blood start to boil._ Calm down Ted, no reason to be jealous. Lorcan and Lysander are basically family to Lily. Yeah, but so are you, _I told myself.Lorcan and Lysander are the twin sons of Luna Scamander (Lovegood), Lily's namesake. The twin boys were a year old than Lily and have been close to the Potter-Weasley family forever. I forced myself to leave the room and go to the kitchen, hopefully to find some butterbeer.

In the Kitchen though, I found Victoire Weasley. _This isn't going to be good_. Victoire and I had been broken up now for just over a year. Only it was difficult for the both of us (_mostly her_) because we were together for 7 years and before starting a romantic relationship we had been best friends since she was two. The reason for the break-up wasn't even because I didn't love her anymore because honestly Victoire was beautiful, funny, compassionate and full of life, but the only thing was she wasn't Lily. I know is a horrible thing to say first of all the two girls are cousins and secondly because I am eleven years older than Lily Luna Potter. I started to notice Lily differently about two years ago, I tried to ignore it at first, but I couldn't and that led to Victoire and I breaking up. I couldn't continue going out with her if I was in love with someone else it wasn't fair to her.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Victoire looked at me from where she sat. The room suddenly felt ten degrees colder, from the death stare Vic sent my way. She stood and flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder. She didn't even look at me as she gracefully (that girl did everything gracefully) marched out of the room and brushed by my shoulder. _Wow, this isn't right Vic was my best friend after Lily._ Victoire was only two years younger than me and being the oldest kids in the family we became really close. We hung out all the time and could tell each other everything. But it was Lily who really understood me. I talked to both Victoire and Lily about my parent's deaths. It was Lily though, who knew that nothing needed to be said because while her family couldn't replace the one I lost, we both knew I was apart of hers and that helped more than anything Victoire tried to say. And even though she's so young Lily has always been there for me to talk to. When we were younger I could talk to her about anything because she could worm anything out of me with her big brown eyes and pouting lips. She listened to me. She looked up to me and I felt like her protector.

Coming back to reality I called out, "Vic…." but she didn't look back. That is one thing I regret about breaking things off with Victoire we were best friends and now we don't even talk to each other, or at least she refuses to talk to me. Us breaking up was hard on the whole family because Harry (my god father and Lily's father) and Ginny supported me no matter what, while Fleur and Bill (Ginny's brother) were furious at me for hurting their daughter. Since it's been over a year the family has almost gone back to normal, except for the relationship between Victoire and myself. I made my way into that room suddenly feeling horrible and hoping to find something stronger than butterbeer, maybe Harry would have some firewhiskey.

Just as I was searching through the cupboards James strolled into the room with an evil glint in his eyes. Now most people wouldn't be able to notice but I've known James Sirius Potter since the day he was born and I knew he was up to something.

" James," I said warningly, "you wouldn't pull any pranks today that would ruin your sister's birthday now would you?"

James smirked. " Come on Teddy, she's my baby sister I wouldn't do anything to ruin today." I looked right at him, James could never lie to me, he looked up to me to much he always wanted me to be apart of his plans. " Alright well, I may have laid a small prank for Lily. Once everyone starts singing "happy birthday" fireworks are going to go off in the house. Also I got some embarrassing pictures of her that will be going through on the wall like a slide show." James smiled at me thinking his plan genius.

" James you realise now that at 21 your plans haven't changed or improved since you left Hogwarts." I wasn't going to put a stop to this, Lily might be upset, but it's only family and friends here she would get over it after cursing James into oblivion.

" You know she's going to know who did this right away right?"

" Yeah, but it's worth it. Besides my little sister is al grown up my not going to get to many opportunities like this when we're older."

I shook my head at James' logic knowing he would always be a prankster, how could he not being named after two of the three loyal Marauders, James Potter and Sirius Black (my father's best friends growing up).

" James Sirius, Teddy Remus come here we're going to start singing!" Ginny yelled.

Walking back into the living room I saw James and I were the last ones to enter. As we sat I saw Lily give me a strange look. _What's wrong? Why is she looking at me like that? _Then,The entire familybroke into a raucous version of Happy birthday with Fred, Louis, James, Albus and Hugo screeching and hollering for their cousin/sister. The singing ended and James' fireworks and slideshow began. Everyone started laughing, while Lily sat staring at the picture. I watched her knowing what would come. Lily burst out laughing, while also giving James a death threat. This was the family I was apart of. This is the family I love.

Hours later, after everyone had left, I heard a crash and bang coming from downstairs. I started to make my way toward the stairs, when I saw Lily coming on to the landing with a triumphant look.

" I hope you weren't to hard on him. He was only trying to make the party more interesting." I said trying to hold back laughter.

" James got exactly what he deserved, nothing less, nothing more," Lily said frankly, eyes glinting. She obviously wasn't too upset about it. " What are you still doing here?" she asked.

" Oh, Ow. That really hurts, Lily Luna." I faked offence.

" Oh come off it Teddy. You know I didn't mean it like that. I only meant why haven't you gone back to your flat for the night? Everyone else has left."

" While I thought I might spend the night in my old room. It feels like I haven't been here in forever. Also I heard Ginny say she was going to make breakfast in the morning."

" Ha ha. I knew there must be some reason for you to stay over." Watching Lily laugh was amazing. Her hold body moved when she laughed and her face lit up.

" Hey I stay over for other things than food. I haven't seen you, James or Albus in a long while either." I defended myself. Lily stopped laughing and looked at me curiously.

" Teddy…" I waited, but she didn't continue.

" Yes, Lil?"

" I was just wondering, I know what every single colour your hair changes to means, but tonight… Well, it's just your hair changed a colour I've never seen it before." She said it with confusion write all across her face, her brow scrunched up in thought. I was surprised to hear this because when Lily was little she would walk up to me and know exactly how I was feeling based on the colour of my hair, sometimes being a metamorphmagus made me far to easy to read. I wish I had my mother around to teach me to contorl my changing features, I had learned to control most of it, but sometimes my hair colour got away from me and it would change according to my mood.

"Lils, you know what all my hair colours mean. Your like my own personal mood ring analyser." Lily didn't laugh at that.

" Yeah, I thought I knew them all too. Teddy is there anything you're not tellnig me. Your hair changed to a deep green colour. Teddy, it was right after we finished talking . You aren't mad at me are you?" Lily looked so worried. _Great, of course it goes green for jealousy. Stupid!_

" Lily, no. Not at all. There's no way I could be mad at you." She seemed statisfied with the answer, but she didn't stop there. Lily always spoke what she was thinking.

" okay, but are you alright? You were really quiet for most of the night. You didn't even casue any trouble with the boys."

" Oh well. See the thing is I ran in to Victoire in the kitchen after we finished talking. That put a bit of a damper on my evening. I'm sorry if I ruined your brithday." I told her hoping she still had fun and didn't worry to much.

" No, I had a great time. It was so good seeing everyone tonight. I was just a little worried." _Man, this girl could read my mind. _"I'm sorry you ran in to Victoire. Was it okay?"

" The same as it has been for months. I don't think it will ever be okay between us."

"I'm sure it will. It's just going to take some time is all." She smiled up at me. " If you need to talk at all you know where to find me, but I'm beat. See you in the mornig for breakfast," she called over her shoulder, as she closed the door to her room behind her.

_Wow, what was that girl doing to me? _ I made way to my room and settled in to bed.

I woke to the smell of bacon and pancakes. _This is the life, why did I move out?_ I went downstairs to see everyone already there and eating.

" Hurry up Ted, or you won't get anything to eat with James here," Albus told me as I noticed James inhaling as much food as he could. For a 19 year old he was much more mature than his brother.

"James Sirius Potter, slow down you eat like your uncle Ron. It's disgusting" Ginny

made a face at her eldest son. Lily and Harry just laughed used to the mornig ritual.

" What is everyone's plan for today?" Harry asked while getting the orange juice from the refridgerator.

James looked up hopefully, and with his mouth still full of food " Do youbuys wanna pway-" That's all he got out before he started coughing. He swallowed all the food in his mouth with a huge gulp and too ka sip of water.

" So who here is scared that we spend far to much time around James, seeing as I just understood everything he just said?" Lily said sounding scared she was related to a pig.

Harry, Albus and I chuckled.

" Harry don't encourage him. He's 21 for Merlin's sake. James chew your food first!" Ginny chastised. "And Yes James a game of Qudditch sounds good for today."

In the air later that afternoon, I felt free, being with my family and palying a game we all loved. Something that brought all of us together. Lily was throwing the quaffle around with Ginny and laughing about something that happened at the party the night before. The team were Harry, Ginny and Lily against myself, James and Albus, which were relatively fair teams. As I flew Lily would brush by me pushing around and turning and shooting me a smile. That girl was asking to start soemthing. She would go up to James and give him a playful push and that when the qudditch game turned into tag bewteen the three of us. Ginny and harry just laughed and landed going in to the house. The four of us had more fun than we'd had in years fooling around and teasing one another. I felt like I was 24 again, when we were all the perfect ages to goof around. The four of us landed and put the brooms away for dinner. Albus and James stayed for dinner, but left shortly after to return to their own flats they shared with their girlfriends.

Lily and I hung around after dinner playing exploding snap in the living room, while Harry and Ginny decided to go out and visit some old friends. It was sitting their that I had to keep myself under contorl. _She's only seventeen. She's too young for you. She's almost family. But on the other hand , my parents were far apart in age too and she's not actually related to me. Oh Come off of it Ted, you know it would never work. Why would Lily be interested in someone so old. She has gusy her age that are tripping all over themselves to go out with her. Yeah, but she isn't seeing any of those gusy is she. No Teddy! It's Wrong!_

" Teddy? Teddy? Teddy!"

" Huh? What? Yeah what's up Lily?"

" Teddy, You just completely left the relam of the living there. Where'd you go?" Lily questioned concern etched across her face.

" er.. no Where. I'm here and I'm kicking your ass too." I faked a smile her way and took my turn.

" Theodore Remus Lupin, you are the biggest prat on in all of England, no wait in all of the United Kingdom, no all of Europe. What is your problem? You always tell me everything and now these last couple months you've been acting really weird towards me. I thought we were best friends?" Lily looked at me defiantly, silently daring me to say we were anything less than best friends. _Damn, this was going to be hard. Lily never accepts anything, but the truth from me. Shit!_

" Lily, I'm going to head out now. Early day at work tomorrow, you know.' I stood quickly hoping she wouldn't stop me. I rushed to get outside, so I could apparate home. I fogot one thing though; Lily Potter was now of age and could do magic outside of school. The door was locked and I was in a full body bind curse before I made it ten steps. I dropped to the floor unable to move. Lily looked down at him seething.

" Theodore Remus Lupin!" Lily was certainatly like her mother and Grandmother in her temper. "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING? WERE YOU JUST GOING TO LEAVE IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR CONVERSATION? YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME TEDDY! We are best friends and you can't just shut me out like this!" Lily's yelling had slowed down and she just stared at him looking hurt and confused. " Teddybear, family doesn't do this to one another, we've got to talk. Is this about what happened bewteen you and Victoire? You never would talk to me about what happened then." _I couldn't Lily. How was I supposed to tell you I left your cousin and ruined our relationship because I am in love with you. I can't do that to you. I'm too old for you Lily. It's not right. I'm too old. _I looked at her hoping she would undo the curse, so I could try and explain. Lily looked at me and with a wave of her wand I was free. She turned away form me and went to sit on the couch. I followed and sat beside her, not knowing how to say everything I had been thinking for the last two years. I'm problem was solved for me though when Lily sitting beside me grabbed my hand and jeld on to it, waiting for me to talk to her. " Teddybear, please. What is bothering you so much?" Lily sounded worried now and I couldn't stand the look I saw on her face. And so I tried to talk.

" Well, er..Lily.. you see, what's going on does have something to do with Victoire, but it has even more to do with you." I struggled getting it all out, but the entire time Lily just sat there holding my hand and letting me tell her my deepest secret. " Yo usee, I broke things off with Victoire because I realised I was in love with someone else. See there's this girl I've known for a long time. She's beautiful, smart, funny and liviest person I've ever met. This girl… well, this girl I can tell her anything. Victoire and I were close, really close, but what we had was nothing compared to what I felt for this girl." I kept talking, trying to ignore any reaction Lily had to my story. I didn't want to hear anything, I just needed to get the story out there. " This girl is amazing on a broom better than her brothers and she's sneaky too. I don't remember one time that she got a letter home from Hogwarts for being caught out after curfew. This girl.. This girl, Lily, she is everything I live for. She is the excitement in my life. Lily, have you been listening?" I finally turned to look at her hopnig that she could connect all the dots on her own. She sat there staring straight ahead of her.

" Lily, This girl, the girl I spoke of, she has beautiful red hair and freckles all over her face. She's the girl who cried at the end of every summer when I had to return to school. This girl proposed to me when she was five years old and I said yes. Lily, this girl, she's you. Lily, I.. Lily please talk to me now."

"Teddy, er.. I've been in love with a man who was basically a brother to me since I was seven years old. Never, never did I think you would ever feel the same, Teddy." I didn't know what to make of this. This isn't how imagined this happening.

" Lily, I love you, but .." opps, bad move her eyes flashed at me in warning. I stopped talking.

" Teddy, don't you dare! Don't even think about making up some excuse!"

" Lily, this isn't an excuse, I really am far to old for you. This can't work."

" Teddy please don't." Lily decided words would never get her any where, not in this conversation. She leaned in and she kissed me. At first I was a statue, not moving, then slowing desire and instinct took over and I was kissing her back. She stepped back looking at me with a grin on her face and her eyes twinkling. I knew I was done for and my argument was finished. I took her in my arms and held her.

" Teddy?"

" Yes, Lils?"

" Do you want to go play quidditch?" The question was so innocent and such a Lily thing to say that I couldn't do anything, but laugh. She just looked at me with a smile.

" Lily, Love, There's nothing I'd rather do than go play some quidditch right now."

Even though things would be hard with the family and Victoire, things would be okay because Lily and I were finally together after years of waiting and it finally felt right.

**** Dear readers, I'd like to know what you thought of this. Not sureif it's my best work or not it may have gone off topic al ittle but please tell me what you think. Hope you liked it.

Please R&R.

thanks


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